[fkvesic]

Good question, Clive and I hope your back problem's improved now.

It's sometimes difficult to know the boundaries between when you're just being an apprentice, just being a mimic (even of your own work!) and genuinely having something to say and expressing it with feeling in an art form. I find it easier to recognise with poetry. I usually write in bouts of about 2 years at a time. After that, I seem to dry up and start forcing the words, phrases, meters and ideas. As I can feel the forcing, I then usually stop for a while. It's frustrating when these gaps develop into years, but I've learned to do other things in the time available, as I know now I always go back to it with new/different themes in hand. With textiles, the cycles or working time are usually much longer, but, even then, I need a break when I get stale. Now, with netsuke, everything is still new - carving, kumihimo, knot-tying, macro photography - so I'm truly back to the beginners stage and it'll take years to get beyond that, if ever I do.

That stop-start process is fine for me; I don't have to earn my living by either poetry or art; as long as I have something creative on the go, I'm happy. It's much more difficult for someone who's devoted his/her professional life to the development of one art form. I know one artist who could churn out paintings in a particular style and they always sold. He grew to hate it, realised he was stuck in a rut and started experimenting with different styles, themes, ideas. His gallery and art world judges were very dubious about the new work at first and for about 4 years his annual sales diminished. He bit the bullet, though, and is glad he made the change (and other changes since).

I think many artists hit this kind of turning point and all have different solutions to the issue and different emotions/feelings they feel confident of bringing to the work. For myself, being true to what I'm feeling at the time, about myself and the particular piece I'm working on/material I'm working with, aligned with both skill and the ability to still experiment is important. Do I ever achieve it fully? No, but at some points the combination runs smoother than at others.

Otoh, what is 'bringing feelings to a work'? Is it one particular feeling you want to express in/for a particular piece, or to express a combination felt at one particular time, or to express some genuinely felt and not others, or to express the whole of your personality in the presnt piece? Basically, in any art form, the feelings/emotional area, along with conscious or unconscious suppression/expression is, at best, very complex and, at worst, a minefield.

[Janel]

To pull the curtains back from the true window to my soul would be uncomfortable for others and for myself. It is a frightening thought at the moment.

Questions abound. Will I ever not feel like a student or an apprentice?

I will be 59 in a couple of months. How much time do I have to carve? What fills my mind may not be suitable for expression. My thoughts are visited with mortal concerns for some of my family members. Why must I face having to work for mere financial survival at this point in my life? What does it mean for my work, what might it cause to happen with my choices for the next pieces?

Reflection upon that which brings calm and peaceful memories into my mind are what I carve. True memories and a desire to revisit such places fuel the work. When I did begin to carve the young and old frog piece some year ago, it became a prophetic image. Begun before knowing that my father's death was imminent, its completion was realized when I was able to return to work after his death. That took a lot out of me. I do not want to (perhaps cannot) invest such emotional energy into every piece that is to be shared with the world.

Clive, your thoughtful question stirs deeply in the place of my inner turmoil. I hope that it will encourage the many concerns to coalesce and move me towards meaningful work. There are so many concerns to deal with, at times I don't know how to move forward. Was not life supposed to get simpler as we age?

[Mike Ruslander]

Actually, Janel, I think life gets more complicated as we age. I think that one of the reasons that we might "resort to mimicry" is that we develop habits. Whether carving, painting, writing or even just making dinner, we unconsciously tap into our reservoir of learned responses to the tasks at hand. We take shortcuts and simplify our techniques due to a plethora of reasons. When all of us began our journey on life's creative path we were wide eyed and open to anything. We were (in our minds) immortal, full of energy and thought we would change the world (that we thought surely owed us a living). As we get older other responsibilities creep into our collective attention spans. Family issues, paying bills, and the constant reality that old age and death is lurking ahead of us. Also our fanbase changes along with their spending habits and purchasing priorities. Fortunately, in this field, we don't fail or succeed on how we look (thank God) or our athletic abilities, but we simply can't stop the cellular degeneration that takes place in our bodies and brains. One thing that I feel in response to concerns voiced often in this forum is that we really need to make a concerted effort to stop judging ourselves and become our own best friend instead of our worst critic. It's like never attaining Nirvana when always focusing on the Mantra.

[Leon]

Clive said:

I believe good art is about self expression, but what do we do when most of the time we don't have anything to say?

We play!

And I don't mean something like mimicry. Do not play somebody else. Avoid that at all times and everywhere in life. I mean, enjoy the skills you have developed. Use them just for your own pleasure. That is the key: For Your Own. Nine out of ten you find yourself talking sense. Might take a while but who cares, you'r having fun!

Besides, I don't believe there is a true 'feeling like a master'. Those who feel that way are for sure no master.
All artists I admire are seeking, trying and learning. No... life ain't simpler as we age. So you better start learning to play!

Dutch historic J. Huizinga wrote "Homo Ludens" in 1938 about play and playing as a cultural phenomenon. See: link
Lots of nice quotes possible. I like this one: "Play cannot be denied. You can deny, if you like, nearly all abstractions: justice, beauty, truth, goodness, mind, God. You can deny seriousness, but not play."

It is okay to be unsure about ones intentions and even achievements, but don't overdo it. (or you end up like Van Gogh! )

[Janel]

mimic |ˈmimik|
verb ( mimicked , mimicking ) [ trans. ]
imitate (someone or their actions or words), typically in order to entertain or ridicule : she mimicked Eileen's voice. See note at imitate .

mimicry |ˈmiməkrē|
noun ( pl. -ries)
the action or art of imitating someone or something, typically in order to entertain or ridicule : the word was spoken with gently teasing mimicry | a playful mimicry of the techniques of realist writers. See note at caricature .

I took a moment to look up the above words. I wonder Clive if your use of the word is meant as imitate or the act of imitating only, not necessarily "in order to entertain or ridicule" as the definition reads.

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That you met the fear and possible reality of not being able to carve again while incapacitated must have been a heavy and transformative time for you. It is difficult for me to ponder the depth of thought and emotion you must have experienced during recuperation. You had a lot of time to think. Every day that you are now able to return to the carving bench or to other creative activity must certainly bring with it a gratefulness for the ability the body has for repairing itself, that you have more time to create.


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It will be a difficult exercise, to express what is felt ... greater than realism in a subject ... or an imitation. The concept posed with your first post may urge some of us towards deep introspection. What might result as our expression attempts to describe a feeling?

[Leon]

Of course it is about personality and perspective. And about experience and circumstances. Don't get me wrong (damn language barrier) I do not think light about this. I understand you faced your greatest fear, that changes perspectives.
But as Roosevelt said: "So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself -- nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
It's good to reflect and trying to struggle out of "common speckeyness", but it's not a life living in need to make every work a masterpiece. That's a sure way to unhappiness my friend.

Warm greetings, Leon.

[Leon]

Will the real Clive make his masterpiece now!

[Leon]

[Janel]

Thank you Clive for opening this topic. It helps me to acknowledge that most of what I do is perhaps that sort of mimicry, without insertion of what roils inside or is involved with my life at the time of working. Having grown up stuffing personal feelings, not making waves within family and personal relationships, choice with what I do create quiets the work while trying to do it well, living and working in a quiet setting, in a quiet way. I am aware of it, and wonder if I will ever dare to carve the storms.

Thank you for the explanation of how you use mimicry, it is what I thought you meant. Thanks also for the illustration with the work of the painter. There is much to learn yet in this life, much to reach for and to try. I appreciate the opportunity for constructive introspection.

Janel

[Mike Ruslander]

Clive, this is a great topic. I've been thinking about this subject now going into the second day. Two things that I read today come to mind as appropriate to the subject matter:

"In the time of your life, live-so that in that wonderous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it."
-William Saroya, American author (1908-1981).

and this from an unlikely source: "Non Sequitur" by Wiley.

[Jim Kelso]

Clive, I've seen far too few of your works to make any comment on mimicry, but from the pieces I have seen I am prepared to wager that you are at your best when working. It is a gift both in the receipt and the giving. I suspect you fall into a "zone" when working and bollocks such as economy, notoriety and failed democracy to some greater or lesser degree, fall away, and in those moments although Nirvana is not fully attained, you feel it caressing, tickling and prodding you onward. I've seen you do it and I want to see more.

cheers,

Jim

[Mike Ruslander]

Believe me, Clive, I understand the gravity and seriousness of the subject.
This was me last year after my 3rd emergency trip to the hospital. The first time, I was misdiagnosed as having pneumonia and acid reflux disease. The second time my gall bladder failed and I collapsed at work and was rushed to the emergency room via ambulance for emergency surgery. The third time, I collapsed on the bathroom floor and my wife rushed me to the hospital at about two in the morning. My pancreas was shutting down due to a blockage from the previous problem and had it hemmoraged, I would have been dead.
Doctors said that I had a 40% chance of dying then. I didn't like those odds.

Anyway, I fully recovered, lost 20 pounds, gave up drinking alcoholic beverages, renewed my committment to art, but mainly stopped competeing with myself and others. I just do my thing and enjoy making things, knowing that I do something that not everyone else in the world partakes in. I have fun again with it, and so can you!

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[Mark Strom]

As I have said in the past. I too have confronted and still am dealing with the same questions as you Clive. After 30 years of carving I realized a great deal of my work was craftsmanship not art. There was no true exploration or expression just expanding on previously learned techniques and themes. This was a real wake up call for me.

The past five years have been a continuing stream of traumas and dramas with family, health and business. I have been trying to find my voice, my expression and my passion. Taking a true look at ones self, ones work and how you truly fit in is a hard task. As a creative person it is my belief that this is the one all important task that will make or break you. To move forward is to face fear, to give up control, and stop trying to impose your will in what you do.

The creative process is an in the moment affair that takes place right in front of your eyes, between your hands with the outside world a distant affair. Letting go of your fears of failure, the intellectualizing of the process and opening up to the possibilities takes courage.

I find as I age that this process has become an exploration of greater depth, deeper meaning and more personally sensitive revelations. Even though the expression of these discoveries becomes harder the results also become more rewarding. The energy required is greater and the results are not always proportional. On the one hand putting work out that truly expresses my thoughts opens me up to more hurtful critique but on the other hand I care less about what people have to say. The expression becomes more of a personal need, more of a personal therapy.

I will say that my mortality and sense of relevance in this ever changing world has placed an urgency upon things. I have realized that there are explorations that I will not have time or energy to pursue. My carving time is finite. It is because of this that the task of facing those fears, letting the work take me where it will and the sincere effort to let go of control has become a quest unto itself.

I want the work I do now to count for something, to be more than an exercise and to be a reflection of what I have sacrificed to get here.